My teacher is a fucking shit head. ASDF ASDF ASDF ASDF ASDF ASDF. That, and Saratoga high is.... shitty.... yeah.

Blah. We lost, 25-30. Some bitch from Saratoga high fouled me 3 times, while I fouled HER five times. That little whore. All of their players were fucking agressive as fuck! A couple of tall bitches kept fucking elbowing me like there was tommorow.. and everytime, I would elbow them back--HARDER. Bitches. My team played semi-good defense, but we kept missing shots. A LOT of shots. Actually, if we [errr.. sometimes I] didn't make so many shitty shots and took our time to FULLY get open, then we would have won. But yeah, the opposing team were... tall, Asian, and aggressive. My team? Well, the majority were short, White, and ANNOYINGLY FRIENDLY. Damnit. They were being too fucking polite.. blah. They were letting the other team have the ball, blah blah. Not being aggressive enough. Actually, other left wing player, Kiana, and I were the only ones being aggressive, along with Bianca. Shoot.

Oh well. Our coach is a shithead anyway. Whatever.. I won't start with him. Gar!

Things I need to do

-Pack for Las Vegas
-Work on my painting for art
-Finishing stuff on Jacob's collage
-Algebra a la deux homework
-Pack some more.
-Eat chicken

Blah! I haven't eaten all day. I wanted to stop by ANYWHERE to eat before the carpool that I was in gave me a ride home. I didn't want to impose, so I didn't really ask the driver-person. Today was my short day [block scheduling... blah blah I won't get into that right now] and I officially got out at 12:45. First, I hung out with Stephanie, Lorraine, Jimmy, Kyle and the regulars at our "spot".. then, I had to go into my Algebra class because there's a test tommorow... and I'm obviously not going to be here! After the test, I go into the lunch line and get myself a bagel. The bell rings for the next class [I didn't have a next one... blah blah] and I go downstairs because I had to pick up my paint supplies and paint project from the Art room, so I could finish it tonight and turn it in Monday morning. On my way downstairs, I see Christina heading the same direction. I barely even started eating my bagel, until she just dug in her hands into it and grabbed herself a piece. I was like... "What the fuck, Christina. haha. -_-;;;;". I reach for a peice, out it in my mouth and was like, "BLEGHHHH!! What the hell.... where did that foul taste come from?"

*looks at christina*

Me: "Dude, are you wearing lotion?"
Christina: "No."
Me: *smells her hands* "Stupid! Yes you are!" *spits out bagel* "Ewwwww...."

Ugh. I DID NOT want to eat that bagel, after her icky lotion-full hands touched it. It tasted mother fucking gross! Bah. And I was still hungry, too. But I had to choose from eating that disgusting bagel, throwing it away, or giving it to Christina. Okay, first of all: If i ate that bagel, I probably would have thrown up in disgust. I didn't want to waste it, so I just gave it to her. What a whore.

Okay... I say bye to Christina as she departs for PE [She's 17.. she's a sophmore, and SHE IS STILL IN FRESHMAN P.E. -_-;;] And I head for the Art class. I get my shit, leave, go home. I then take a shower, get my shit ready for our game, blah blah... walked BACK to school. Got dressed into my jersey in the girl's locker room, left for Saratoga. Got hit a billion times by a bunch of stupid Asian girls, HIT a bunch of stupid Asian girls, almost got a technical or two, lost the game.

Wheeee. I'm out.

I need a new layout. Damnit. I'm too fucking lazy, though. I think I'm just going to take out my main picture, get a new "theme" going, change a few html here and there and just make it look like I have a new layout. Haha. I also haven't finished The Random World of Mil... Blah. I have too much shit to do. I think what I'll do is... leave "RWOM" alone for now, and just make a new image for this shitty blogger. Hrm. Yeah....

*snore*

Pic of me singing on the stage.. XP

Okay yeah... I'm in school right now, reading bloggers and such. Stupid Computer Graphics class. There were some guys here earlier from the Cisco Networking class, working on their wires or whatever they do.... they were all watching Strong Bad stuff and were pretty suprized that I knew who Strong Bad was. Heh. They left now, though... and I'm just sitting here. Being bored. Our next assignment is to make a Flash website that teaches something. We get to, of course, choose what we want to "teach", but yeah. How boring... we can even make something that teaches you how to add and multiply or whateverm, just as long as it's " educational" for whatever purpose. Since I'm in art right now, and the teacher gave us a few handouts on crap, I might as well just use the information and make a flash website thingy about it. All I need is an intro, some information, and 8+ animated questions. Pretty lame. I used to love this class a lot, when we were doing stuff that was actually "fun", even though it was pretty basic. I probably only felt that way because it would take me ten minutes TOPS to make the shit that the teacher is telling me to make... and get an A. Bah. Laziness is so... wheeeeeeeee.

I had a bad day today, until I got home from basketball practice and signed online. Hehe. Talking to my sister soothed me out. Go Sx5! =)

Anywho.. I have my first basketball game this Thursday, wheeee! It's against some high school in Saratoga. Errr... my coach told me that we were playing Saratoga High, but he also said last year that we were going to play Fremont High in Fremont, and there WAS no Fremont High in Fremont, so I don't know. Err... whatever? hah. Oooh! I'm getting my basketball uniform tommorow. =) Caroline wanted number 5... my lucky number... but I'm going to let her have it, since she's my "little sister". Whitney wants number 7, my second pick.. but I'm going to let her have that one, too. Bah. So I guess it's good ole' number 9, eh? My brother's lucky number. Hey, you never know... it COULD be lucky for me, also! ^.^ Hey... do you remember that old song, "Love potion number 9"? That movie was cool. Yup yup.

Blah, I have to remember to bring Rachel's VHS of Kodoma no Omocha tommorow. This is what... the third week that I've had it? *hides* I think she's bringing the next episodes in the anime club meeting tommorow, so yay. Shhh!! Don't tell her, but my VCR kind of ate part of her video.... so the middle part is all rainy and stuff. *dies* Hrm. I also have to remember to put the collage I made for Jacob for Computer Graphics. Hey, I'll do that right now before I forget. XP

La di da da da da da da.... homework time. Laytah.

Haru Haru
By Tashannie.

[Slow ballad song]


Oepuis tu a partir,
je ne peux pas vivre sont toi,
Je pense a toi chac jour
est tu la nuit,
Je vous devir,
Tu ma veux,
tu ma monque et mon amour.

Honjaissodo nan surphuji anha gudewaui chuogi issuni
hajiman giphun hojonhamun chuogi cheur su obnun gor
honjaissodo gidariji anha imi guden narur jiwossur theni
majimag ibyor gu shigando gudenun theyon hessonunde

Onjenga naobshi do saragar su isurgoya chagaun gude ibyorui mare
harmarun nunmur puniraso barabor su obdon naui gude
haru haru jinagamyon igsughe jirka nunur gamayaman guder bor su idanun gose
doisang gudeui gipumi doersu obsume nanun to surphohage doergoya
haru haru jinagamyon ijur su issurka gudeui mosub gwa saranghedon giogdurun
kuthne irur su obsodon yagsog durur nanun to surphohago margoya

Nega hamke ojahedon igoseso nobshi na honja irohge bam hanurur bone
byordurege joyonghi jinan uriyegirur heji sodajinun byordurege (byordurege)
byorchorom manhun chuogduri nungarur jogshigo nunmurchorom margun bam hanurur
honja chajaon na surphohago inun na wirohane hajiman hurunun nunmurun
momchuji obne

Onjenga naobshi do saragar su isurgoya chagaun gude ibyorui mare
harmarun nunmur puniraso barabor su obdon naui gude
haru haru jinagamyon igsughe jirka nunur gamayaman guder bor su idanun gose
doisang gudeui gipumi doersu obsume nanun to surphohage doergoya
haru haru jinagamyon ijur su issurka gudeui mosub gwa saranghedon giogdurun
kuthne irur su obsodon yagsog durur nanun to surphohago margoya

Own lalls to dusk and again
I find myself needin what was.
Souls of the late same enchained,
baby I'm to blame..
brought upon rain of cursing pain
that shadows upon us in this vein &
that it I couldobtain
but, the the pride can never admit to shame.
Yet I, deny can't seem to lay what we had to die
and not a day passes me by cried,
till waterfalls dissipate to dry,
flow I repent and reminice on everything you meant.
Alone at destinies end,
a path that I can never chance again... Je t'aime

I feel so depressed lately. Fuck. You should see my notebook of writing... it's just full of darkness and hate. Heh. Why? I don't know. Floods of mixed emotions... anticipation, confusion, depression... it's just mixed into one. I don't even know why I'm feeling so depressed. I just am. I feel like yelling at someone, but the things that usually happen when I'm feeling like this... is a lot of anger. The physical kind... you know, like having that feeling of wanting to beat someone up. If I did went off on someone [no, not the internet] and got into a verbal fight with someone in person, I would probably faint with some wierd emotional fatigue. AND I DON'T KNOW WHY. What the hell? Bah.

I just want to be alone. I want to be a loner. Can't I just disappear? It's not like anyone will notice, anyway.. at least, my mother wouldn't. I feel so much hate. Again, I'm not even sure why. I'm lying down... typing this and whatever else comes to mind, but for what? Maybe I'm just thinking too much. I have too much time... to think... to be angry. I shouldn't have quit piano. Or Tae Kwon Do. Or dancing. I quit everything I do... I never see things through. Am I afraid? Am I afraid of the rejection... the overwhelming responses if I did succeed...? I don't know. I don't know anything. Everything is so confusing.... not the things around me, but me as myself. I look back in my past and become sad. Has everything that I worked for, everything I did.... becoming to waste? I was such a talented piano player, all those years back. Mr. Fredrick told me that I was one of his most promising students. I had dreams of being a pianist. I had dreams of pursuing the beyond levels of my capacity as a piano player, and now what? I lost interest. I lose interest in everything. If I'm not happy with what I was doing, then I won't do it at all... even if, as a possibility, what I was going through may just be a phase that would most likely pass. But no, I didn't wait for it to pass. I just quit. Just like that. Tae Kwon Do.... I remember my very first class, years ago. Mr. Simons was impressed, and asked me if I had taken any private lessons before... I become overwhelmed, and after that, I started devoting myself to martial arts. I worked hard, loved what I was doing... until one day, I lost interest. WTF? How can you lose interest in something you love, and quit? How the fuck can someone like me still be around in this peice of rock we call Earth? I should just jump out of the gene pool and die. No one needs me. I hate myself. I can never keep a stable mind.

I'm too complicated. It contradicts myself.... hah. I contradict myself. Everything I say is a contradiction to something else that I have said before. I'm just one, big contradiction. Maybe it's for the better... if my family moves to Las Vegas. It'll give me another chance to start over anew, forget about my past and just... be alone. People will think I'm just some wierdo from California... a lonersome wierdo... and they'll keep away from me. No one will care about me, I'll just be by myself. That sounds so comforting; the serenity of isolation. Ahh, isolation. I might as well just kill myself. Then, I really will be alone.

Why am I thinking thoughts such as these? Ahh, I don't know.

Whatever. Goodbye.